Can’t stay at any family’s house!!

Distracting a lot of talking outside of sane inside of arguing, laud voices, pretending that we know, proving we are best!….

I was talking to Naamaa and she is so arguing about nothing, after doing all I could to give her support she still accuse me not to be a supportive person, Why!!, because am not fighting Dad as she do, and I’m always look for excuses for him not for her!! The situation is really complicated not a mistake from past year or specific mistake we can recognize easily, No!!, it’s  a pile of mistakes from as long as I have born and even before that I guess, my parents are soooo un changeable they think they know best, specially my father he not think or believe he knows the he know better, and we’re just little kids haven’t experience anything yet- I’m 24 by the way- and I know, okay, I KNOW, why the HELL Am I still living with them till now?!!, actually am not, I used to live by myself since I was 19, they got out of the country, my father to work , my Mum to stay with him and she took Ali and Naamaa and Aalaa with her, I stayed here BY MYSELF and my sister Heba for 4 years , of course they were better years than this, no, I’m still not live with them, I’m in the Army and when I take a vacation to have rest _peacefully or to get piece of mind, I ALWAYS get piece of shit!! From the moment I walk into the house, No, no, BEFORE, I got into the house I start to hear the LOUD voices, I can imagine how the neighbors think of us, imagine them saying “look how quite our life is, look how we are better than others!” and of course they mean us!! Everything you want in this house you’ll have it with how loud are your voice!! If yours are loud enough you’ll get it?? ’cause LOUD here mean the level of convention!! Anyway, I step into the house and I get a 3 minutes of welcoming -fine with me- and the requests begins , as bullets, anything from any direction, things like…

– we should get the Plumber now, is now fine with you?! No tomorrow is better you should have rest, but we can’t stay without electricity and we should take the advantage of you being here and get one NOW!!

-but Mum I’ll be here tomorrow

– No tomorrow the Plumber, and I want you to revise these paper with me I don’t understand a thing about insurance

– Mum neither do I

-No I just want you to set beside me, we have to do it now cuz your brother will be here soon and I want you to tell him to listen to my advices and get him to do his home work before the PlayStation and_ help him in his homework am not that good at English, or Math, or Science, or social……….

And it goes on and on and on to eternity,

so it become to be I want to go back to the Army just to escape, I don’t know which is worse home or Army, why should I take care of everything and every one from Egypt to my brother whose doesn’t want to change his school clothes!!! Is it fair am I suppose to get something from what is happening to me or I just not able to direct it well!?? And how can I get out of this mess?! Or I have no control over it?!.. All I wanted is to have peace not just me I can’t have it and other swearing each other ,I want them to have peace too, how should I think I’m really confused>


~ by Abdurhman Issa on March 23, 2011.

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