Thinking out loud I

I’ve been having troubles writing my thoughts on a paper and now I’m trying u know to prove that I can work on improve it so here we are

I really want to be somebody who has special powers not just an ordinary guy, and that made me think if I want to be like that just to impress ppl !!! And who are these ppl?!! and if they worth to be changed for?!! So I backed up a little but again the thought keep coming , like I wanna be certain of things in live and decisions in my life without any kind of doubt

One of the things that takes a space of my thoughts My future and HOW should I think of it, like I am a mechanic so my dream in jobs field would be something like having the biggest Design company in the world and have this big office and making contracts with Ford and Toyota and start training ppl and ads are everywhere "if u want no mistake u mean us" and then I rest the rest of my day with my wife somewhere in this planet , then i started to think how to make these dreams come true , I mean should I be prepared and search everywhere for the opportunity and keep thinking about that dream and it will come true!!! Or what?!, but all a sudden my thoughts find a way to be shifted to whole new dimension to be in "is that right ? And am I doing it the right way??" I mean I apparently edging God out of my life slowly and without noticing, I started to believe that I am the creator of my life, i started to think that if i worked hard enough i will get what ever i wanted , I mean it’s how the world’s rules , isn’t it?! And i don’t need god or anything, if u wanted anything give it much of an attention and u’ll get it even if u’r and atheist u’ll still have houses, cars, everything , I mean most of the manifesting program say that and they are not even Muslims and it works for them!!!

Then another different dimension of thinking "is that what u want?! Is that what u r living for?!!! Cars and houses !!!! Pretty desperate, isn’t it?!!"

and I started to answer my self with "I just wanna be happy"

-" do u think rich ppl are happy?!!, Do u really think that these atheist are living a happy life?!!! There are other dimension behind the scene u didn’t see it and u never thought of it, like relationships with his wife, kids, work, he might have diseases can’t be cured, he might be miserable, he might be living a shitty life, and u just say he’s happy cuz he’s rich, silly u"

-" so, what is happiness?? If it’s not being rich- apparently- what is it?! Now should I give up on my dreams, I mean they were based upon being number one, to be the best, to have it all, and I’ve just notice that they have nothing to do with happiness, So what is happiness!! And Who is happy in our world?!!"

Well under these circumstances we live in, the only standard of measuring the happiness is money and it’s Not true, at all, I mean they seem happy on TV they seem they can do everything, but if u look closely they broke up all the time, doing drugs, going to rehab, and sometimes attempting suicide, THEY ARE NOT HAPPY
At the same time there are ppl live day by day with a wide smile on their faces , not rich,but riding public transportation, they don’t have any concerns about being number one and compete with others but they Just be number one , they simply become rich and it doesn’t really matter to them, they are ready to gave all their money away to charity or family or to someone in need

There are ppl don’t have or need authority to pass through the gates, they just pass through it

There are ppl seem to have control over the circumstances, over the routine, over the known, over the habits .

There are ppl with unnatural power making any body they meet love them

They don’t care what situation they’ve got in to, and they get out of it very satisfied and pleased

Well they seem to be people of God , they didn’t edge god out when they had the chance, they granted peace, inner peace and serenity , they don’t know meaning for fear or worry or enemy

They simply believe they can’t play music in harmony with the universe on their own , they simply found the link between themselves and the universe .

Waw,I mean I wanna be that I wanna be like those guys

I wanna wash away all my fears and worries

I wanna be loved

I wanna play music with the universe

I wanna have control over the circumstances

I wanna have no doubt in any decision I have to make

I wanna have healthy life

I wanna have the best reaction in whatever the situation is

I wanna have control over my feelings

I wanna give without worrying

I wanna be in the right place and the right time always

I wanna be surrounded by the ppl like those

If u r noticing the how thoughts being shifted, u’ll notice that Happiness is not a goal anymore it becomes a result of a so much bigger deeper meaning existed in this life and it’s BELIEVING

U have to become a believer knowing that even if u worked hard , even if u did all what u thought u had to do, still there will be things missing u have no control over them, unless u believe in the Creator of literally every single thing existed in this universe and even more that we can’t see yet , then I’ll be satisfied all days long in my journey in this life and it will not matter if I was poor or rich, I will not care a bit of how ppl see me , I’ll have that inner feeling that I am a great being, I am connected and communicating only with God

And I will be blessed, the things I see, the things I hear, the things I taste, the thing I feel, it will be a heaven on earth ……..I am a believer.


~ by Abdurhman Issa on January 5, 2010.

One Response to “Thinking out loud I”

  1. i was off to bed, but i felt like i need to read it and all i can say is OH MY DAMN!…its like a mind ,heart and soul talk, and dude, I HAVE BEEN HAVING THOSE !! wickedly cool ,and so true, i really LOVE it and AGREE with you. Believing we survive makes us survive, believing is the key, and you my friend and little brother, are a BELIEVER ! Proud of you, keep going on the right path and may ALLAH give you strength to archive what you desire and if not, then give you peace in believing that he has a better plan in stored for you and that you are never ,ever,Alone. (^_^)

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