Diana A.Ibrahim: “Dee for Deliverance ” : My Death was My Deliverance. (Real story)

"Remember; remember the 14th of November,"
"The day my soul was no longer lost,"
”I see no reason why the day of my deliverance,"
"Should ever be forgot!""

It’s been 9 years since I’ve been brought back to this realm…I’ve spent all this time trying to find out and understand the reason behind it …And now looking back…..I find that the reason behind it, That message engraved on my heart, echoing in my soul all the time, is why I am who I am now, has been the only thing that has driven me to survive everything I’ve been through the past 9 years and will always be the reason I survive cause I keep hearing it, feeling it…"No matter what, you are not alone"
I find myself amazed of how easily a soul can change …more so ,I find myself feeling ,stunt, of how that soul can forget from time to time that event that changed it ….I remember it all, but as I sit now, I realize, for the first time since then, That I met God in some way…And even thou I got the message and live by it and have him in my heart all the time, I cant believe I didn’t realize it sooner, didn’t really feel it as I do now …I guess I wasn’t supposed too, until now. because realizing it now, is filing me with faith, is bring me back to a person that was close to god, a person I’ve lost sight off and missed lately…And that gives me hope and is making me feel it all over again…I am not alone.
Before I go into the story , you need to understand why I see that the day I died as the day my soul was delivered, saved and I have to say that because it really was … Since my dad passed away when I was 12 after a long struggle with his illness, his deliverance, I guess is the right word, since illness is gods way of cleansing a soul of its sins….
For 2 years after that, , I kept moving from the Anger stage to the burgeoning stage to the depression stage , but I never reach acceptance , no one knew because all they saw was all I allowed to be seen…An all together smiling girl…But inside I was raging at god most of all, lets just say I was naïve and immature enough to blame him and get insanely angry with him as if he was a person "Aasta3`fero ALLAH el 3azim"…The date of my death, was the date of my deliverance from how lost I was…The day I met god, was the day all my why’s went away , was the day my soul was awakened.
It was a normal school morning, or so I thought…I got dressed and was happy because my hair was done "which was a big deal when you are a 14 year old girl back then", and I even asked my older brother to drive me instead of mum, even thou we were fighting and I was giving him my silent treatment. it was such a beautiful summer morning, had that amazing 7 am smell in the air and the skies were so beautifully drawn …We headed off to my school, Pyramids language school on the mariotia road near safaga hotel" this is hardly a commercial for it ,it sucked ,I’m just painting a picture here!" Anyways there’s this tiny hospital /clinic on the right before the curve leading to the school, on its left is the mariotia river, and that was where it all happened..
A normal school day has the entire street moving so slowly, so in no way you can zig zag or press down on the gas to go fast when there is like a 3 empty car spaces ahead, but that is what my brother did, as we were moving, a car slightly hit the back of our car on the right side, mine. Which made the whole car make a 360, only to find my self in the car looking in the wrong direction as now the cars where facing the front of my car and my side was hanging off the river’s cliff "And here comes the reason I don’t listen to Amr diab to this date, From all the songs that could have been playing, it had to be one of his songs entitled "Sa3ban 3laya",I mean Come on!"
Everything went in slow motion as I looked down and saw the sandy edge of the cliff and the river beneath me" And I thought to myself at that moment" Wow, This dream has such vivid colors!" and then we fell, my brother said I yelled " we are falling" and he said" hang on" but I don’t remember the actual impact, All I remember is hitting my head on the car’s ceiling and everything going black, and the next thing I knew was feeling wet as the water was raising in the car and hit my nose which woke me up with beautifully stinky smell ."Yes, It was not just land water like they say, from the smell I have to say, well ,lets just say ,it was from the Egyptian people to the Egyptian people ,and I was the lucky Egyptian that day!"
It’s true what they say that when you are about to die, you know it ,feel it … I opened my eyes, and even thou my glasses where gone, I could see perfectly though the front glass frame" I later discovered that the only intact window in the whole car was my doors window ,even thou that the crash and impact was on my side, and it was the only thing that kept my lifeless body from floating away, it wasn’t luck, it was GOD." To this day I have the image before the car sank in my mind, water ahead, edges of sand ,trees above tilting over the river from both sides, and between a beautiful sun surrounded by clouds…and I thought to myself ," I think I’m about to die" .
I took a deep breathe as the car sank and completely filled with water "you can only tell where the car sank by a tiny part of one of the tires rubber that was visible above, and I was told you had to have seen the crash or really focus to see it" and I went back to my seat I touched the glass and tried to open it but it wouldn’t open, the car had an alarm system and center lock that broke on impact so as hard as I tried, I couldn’t open the door… "one of the amazing things is, you couldn’t see a thing in that water, and yet, in the moment that I wanted to reach for the handle and open the door, even thou I couldn’t see it, I saw everything in my head…its like an image was put there, I saw the car door upside down and every detail on it and when I reached for the handle on the upside down car door, I got it as if I was seeing it with my own eyes."
I tried and tried but nothing happened, I started to get dizzy, and I felt something moving in the water beside me, at first I got scared and moved my arm away thinking it was a snack or a crocodile or something, and then I thought. "You are about to die anyways ,try" and I reached out, but by the time I did, "The only man that jumped in to save me went up for air, turned out that my brother reached for me after impact , couldn’t find me , so he broke his glass, and got out, and while he was out he called out for someone to help telling them I was still down there, but everyone just stood there saying "la 7awl wala qwat 2l abe ALLAH , 2na le ALLAH w ana 2layh larag3oon",they thought I was dead since its been 2 minutes already, or so it was easier for them to believe rather than try to save a soul they don’t know… But the door man of that tiny hospital, an uneducated 35 year old man, jumped in and in the end saved me and I think I should mention that I used to sing so I held my breath for about 2 minutes, fainted for about a minute, then my heart stopped for 2 more minutes according to the time from the crash to the time I was saved."
While that was happening above the water, I was having my own awakening beneath…after I got dizzy, I fainted … for a minute and then, I woke up to my heart stopping…Unbelievable pain as I opened my mouth and gasped "sh2et el mot" ,after the pain that lasted a moment, another moment followed, and no matter what I can say I cant describe what I felt, I felt peace like I have never felt it before, as if all the pain and weight I felt was wiped clean…for a moment I feel pure joy and peace, I was free .
What happened afterwords, I remember like it was yesterday, images in my head like I just saw them now and the feeling of it all, never leaves me…. I saw my body floating in the car ,and In a blink of an eye, I was in a wide black tunnel, seemed boundless and endless, and I could see a beautiful silvery white light, shining far ahead, and all of a sudden, I was taken down to a grown where I was in the kneeling prayer position.. and no matter what I can say I cant describe the sheer fear I felt then, I was unbelievably scared, shaking and crying as I felt this awesome powerful force all around me in the darkness, and how much it was mad at me…I was in the" sajda "position crying and scared, and I remember all I could say was "I’m sorry, I’m really sorry for everything I said, I’ll pray I promise, I promise I’ll pray from now on"
I felt like I was being told "you were never as alone as you thought, I was always there, and I will always be, no matter what you are not alone" then I heard a calm peaceful sure voice whisper in my ear," say help, call out and say help, call out and say help"…I think it was either my father or an angel or something bringing me too… I could hear from far street noise and people talking, I gathered whatever strength I had in me and said help, and I heard my brother say, I’m here, while I felt someone carrying me ,then I passed out again.
Next thing I know is I’m Hearing voices saying "open your eyes" and smelling what I later discovered was gas or something on this big cotton which didn’t make it any easier for me to breathe since I had water in my lungs that later cause sever pneumonia and the scent made my head hurt even more than it did from the concoction caused by the impact….my eye lids were so heavy ,but I tried and opened them ,and the first thing I saw, wasn’t the line of people standing in front of me, it was the sun beams thought the thick trees shining, and only then I knew I was alive.
The ambulance came 30 minutes after the accident; I laid down on the doorman’s bench covered with his blanket as I was suffering from hypothermia amongst the rest "my brother only had a scratch from breaking the glass btw" Anyways I laid there listening to people making up stories about knowing me, one women said she goes to my collage, the rest says she lives near me ,the other said I see her each day by a place I never go, and all I was thinking was ,I want my mom, we called her ,and when she came, she thought the worst that happened was we hit someone ,went into a tree, but when she asked some dump ass told her that we are at the haram hospital "where they let me go saying I was fine after not 1 but 4 doctors checked me out ,all I can say is that its such a BAD hospital !!" Anyways to assess the situation and how badly we are hurt she asked where is the car, and he said its that tiny rubber thing showing. I remember when my mum came to the ER, and looked at me she was stunt, and the first thing she asked, which considering the circumstances made me laugh ,was "were you wearing a earrings and necklace?’ ‘I just smiled and told her I was okay….And regardless of it all, for the first time in 2 years,i was finally reaching acceptance ,i was finally on my way to being okay.
Through out the 20 days I was recovering in bed at home,each night, my dad came to me, he never did before then, every night, he would come and be with me through out various nightmares that all surrounded me being in danger, but he always saved me…And him being allowed to come to me, ALLAH allowing his soul to do so, was the only thing that made me feel that I was not alone..
So You see, how can I not believe that I am not alone after all that,How can i not see it as a deliverance ,my wake up call ,my second chance…There is always some good that comes out of bad things, there is always a lesson to be learned, there is always a whisper in the wind, a light when its dark, a breathe of air when its heavy, a star in a dark sky, there is always a sign that tells us that we are not alone, that we need to hang on…that there is so much good in the world ,that GOD is watching what we do and believes that we can carry on what he weights us with, that we can pass his tests of faith…how can I not believe after that, how can I not follow him blindly ,how can I not walk by faith…he delivered me from when i was lost in sorrow ,anger and darkness when i was surrounded and listening to evils filling my soul with anger towards the only one who can and always save my soul, and thou I lose some battles ,I still remember and that makes me fight harder to win as much battles as I can against demons and hopefully when my time comes, ALLAH will be content with me …That is all I want…and that is why I fight…that is why, Dee stands for Deliverance…. after reading this, how can you not believe that "No matter what, You are Not alone!"


~ by Abdurhman Issa on November 29, 2009.

One Response to “Diana A.Ibrahim: “Dee for Deliverance ” : My Death was My Deliverance. (Real story)”

  1. wallahi el bent deh mish batala 😛

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